To Say Goodbye
by ill-interrogate-the-cat
Summary: Merlin goes to say goodbye to Arthur but what happens if Arthur tries to stop Merlin from leaving? -S01E13 Le Morte D'Arthur alternate ending-
1. Chapter 1

Arthur is pouring himself some water when he hears the door open. He glances over and sees Merlin and goes back to pouring his water. "Ah, Merlin," he says as a greeting.

"How are you?" His manservant asks.

"Good."

"I'm pleased."

"Yes. I owe it all to Gaius." Arthur sees a strange look on Merlin's face when he says that but decides to just ignore it for now.

After a long pause, Merlin finally speaks. "I need to talk to you." Merlin's tone is strange, as if there is something bothering him.

Arthur takes a sip from his glass and then says, "You still haven't got it yet, have you? I decide when we need to talk!" He smirks then takes another drink.

"Not today." Arthur looks over at him again and sees that strange look on his face still.

"I sometimes wonder if you know who I am."

"Oh, I know who you are," Merlin says, finally with a smirk.

"Good."

"You're a prat. And a royal one." Finally, Arthur thinks to himself, he's back to his usual self.

Arthur laughs a little. "Are you ever going to chance, Merlin?"

"No, you'd get bored." Arthur doesn't say it out loud but he agrees with Merlin. Without him his life would be dull. Merlin is the only one who speaks to him as if he is a normal person and, even though he bothers Merlin about doing that, Arthur finds it to be a relief. Suddenly Merlin is talking again. "But promise me this: if you get another servant, don't get a boot licker."

Alarm bells go off in Arthur's head. Is Merlin quitting? He can't quit! Arthur has become very fond of him. More so than he should be. "If this is you trying to quit job..."

"No!" Merlin says earnestly. "I'm happy to be your servant, 'til the day I die." Arthur is surprised to hear that. He was not expecting that. But there is also something strange in Merlin's voice and when Arthur looks over, he sees tears forming in Merlin's eyes a little.

After rubbing his shoulder for a bit he grabs his cup and says, "Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times-"

"Well, I know you. You're a great warrior. One day, you'll be a great king." Arthur is beyond confused now. Merlin hardly ever gave straight forward compliments and when he did he wasn't hardly this earnest about it.

"That's very kind of you."

"But you must learn to listen as well as you fight," Merlin advises. For some reason it sounds to Arthur, now, that Merlin is saying a goodbye. It sounds as if Merlin is leaving, despite the fact that he said that he likes being Arthur's servant. Arthur also definitely sees tears in Merlin's eyes.

Arthur feels a strange pang in his heart. Is this the end? "Any other pointers?"

"No. That's it," Merlin says as he looks down to his feet. Arthur, too, feels as if there is water gathering in his eyes. He doesn't want Merlin to leave, not when they still had so much they could do together. Not before he even had a chance to tell Merlin how he started to feel for him. "Just... Don't be a prat." Merlin turns, then, to leave.

"Merlin, wait," Arthur calls out. If this is Merlin saying goodbye then he had to say something. Merlin stops with his hand on the door and turns his head around. "Are you-" His voice breaks a little so he clears his throat. "Is this you saying goodbye? You sound as though you are leaving."

Merlin looks as if he is contemplating something. "Yes," he says and Arthur feels like his world is falling out from beneath him.

"But you just now said that you weren't leaving your job!" Arthur won't have it. Merlin is his only true friend that he has ever had. Merlin is the only one who he has ever actually had real feelings for, even though he knows that nothing could ever come out of it.

"I'm not, Arthur!"

"You are making it sound as if you aren't coming back." That's when Arthur connects it."You think you are going to die." Merlin confirms it by not denying it and Arthur's heart constricts a little more. "Where are you going, Merlin?"

"It doesn't matter. I have to go."

"I won't let you, Merlin. You can't die."

"I have to so I can save my mother. She's dying and I can't-" Merlin's voice breaks off. "I have to go before it's too late."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"You are still healing, Arthur, you can't."

"Well I can't just let you go knowing that you are probably going to die!"

"You can, Arthur, and you must. You cannot come with me because it is too dangerous. I'm sorry but I have to do this on my own." The last thing Arthur remembers is the shock he felt from Merlin speaking a strange language and seeing his eyes flash gold.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur awakens from the sunlight coming in through his curtains and blinks sleepily. The first thing he notices upon waking up was how uncomfortable he is and the next thing was that he was sleeping not in his bed but on the chair he was sat on when Merlin was talking to him.

Merlin!

Arthur tries to remember what happened last night. He remembers Merlin coming into his chambers and he remembers Merlin telling him that he will be a great king. He remembers asking Merlin if he was leaving and Merlin saying that he had to go. He remembers realizing that Merlin was probably going to die and telling his friend that he was coming with. He remembers Merlin speaking in a language that he didn't understand and his eyes flashing gold as he did so.

He remembers the shock of finding out that Merlin is a sorcerer.

Now he feels the hurt of realizing that Merlin has lied to him this whole time. He is about to ponder on that when he realizes that Merlin hasn't come in to wake him. Does this mean that he did die last night? Arthur suddenly gets up and starts to the door, not caring that he is still in his night robe, but then he stops.

Should he be worried about Merlin? He is, after all, a sorcerer and sorcerers are evil. That's what his father always told him. It's what he always believed. But is Merlin evil? Merlin who cried when the unicorn died. Merlin who hates when they went hunting because they killed animals. Merlin who always stood beside him. Merlin who believes in him and the king he will one day become.

Maybe it was all a lie, he thought. Maybe he was just trying to get close to me so he can hit the kingdom at its heart. But that doesn't seem like something Merlin would do. But how could he be sure?

Groaning in frustration Arthur decides to go to Gaius' chambers to see if Merlin is alright and then decide what to do with him later.

When he gets to the door leading to Gaius' chambers, he hesitates. What is he going to say if Merlin is there? What will he do? What will he do if he is not there? Arthur knocks on the door before he can convince himself not to. It was only about a fifteen second wait until the door opened but it felt like an eternity. When the door did open, though, it wasn't Gaius or Merlin.

"Hunith?" Hadn't Merlin said that his mother was dying? She looks to be in perfect health.

"Ah, Prince Arthur," she says with a curtsy.

"Just Arthur, please," he says absentmindedly. "Um, Merlin said you were gravely ill?"

"I was, yes. Mer- uh, Gaius found a cure for me." She suddenly looks melancholy and Arthur gets the feeling that she knows what happened to Merlin and what he had planned to do.

"When will Merlin be back?" Arthur asks but suddenly feels guilty about it was Hunith starts to cry a little.

"I don't-" She breaks off when she looks over Arthur's shoulder. "Oh, my gods! Merlin!" Hunith hurries around Arthur and hugs her son. Arthur looks behind him and sure enough, there was Merlin and Gaius looking as if they were caught in a bad storm.

"Mother! You're alright!" They hug for a while and, feeling a bit uncomfortable, Arthur clears his throat.

"Ah, Merlin," he says somewhat awkwardly. "I'm glad to see you back and in one piece." Arthur doesn't look directly at Merlin when he says this. Merlin releases his mother and slowly walks towards Arthur and, when he is about two feet away, Arthur takes a step back, slightly afraid of Merlin now knowing what he is capable of doing. He hears Merlin take a sharp inhale, as if it hurt him when Arthur stepped away.

"We will give you two time to talk," Gaius says as he leads Hunith down the corridor, shutting the door behind him.

After a lengthy pause, Merlin starts, "Arthur I-"

"You lied to me, Merlin!" Arthur interrupts with a shout. "All this time I trusted you and you were lying the whole time."

"I had to, Arthur!"

"Did you not trust me?" Arthur asks with a heavy heart.

"Of course I did. I do trust you."

"Then why did you lie to me?"

"You would have killed me if you'd known," Merlin says, looking down. Arthur starts to ponder on what Merlin just said. Would Arthur have killed Merlin if he told him? Will Arthur have Merlin killed now that he knows? He knows what he is supposed to do but he doesn't think that it is what he wants to do. He doesn't think he would be able to kill Merlin, even if his father orders him to.

"I don't know what I would have done." Merlin looks up in surprise.

"What do you mean? It's the law."

"I know it's a law but I don't believe you to be a bad person. I mean, is all magic bad? My father always told me that magic corrupts a person's heart but you're not a bad person, Merlin," Arthur says honestly.

"I have only used my magic for the good of the kingdom and for you, I swear."

"But you still might get corrupted."

"I will only ever use my magic to help you, Arthur, you have to believe me," Merlin pleads.

"How could I believe you, Merlin? For all I know you have been putting spells on me to make me trust you, to like you."

"Never! I never placed any sort of spell on you aside of last night."

"Then tell me, Merlin, what spells you have used since you have been here and what they were for."

And Merlin does tell him. He tells him of stopping time when Lady Helen almost killed him. He tells him of Knight Valiant, of curing Gwen's father, of Lancelot and the Griffin. He tells him about everything, including how Arthur was really saved and about saving his mother and Gaius.

"So you were the one that saved me. Not Gaius." Arthur doesn't know what to think. Merlin was going to trade his own life to save the prince? Is he really that important to him? Arthur's heart lightens a bit. "And I was saved because of magic?"

"Yes. Gaius said that there wasn't a cure but I couldn't just let you die. You are my destiny, my friend."

"Then, I guess, I have to thank you, Merlin, for saving my life. Not many people would trade their own life for someone else's," Arthur tells him.

Merlin smirks a little. "Is this you calling me brave, sire?"

Arthur rolls his eyes. "Don't push it." After a slight pause Arthur says, "Is that everything you haven't told me?"

"No." Merlin said it too quickly that Arthur is suspicious.

"Merlin, what aren't you telling me?"

"It's nothing about my magic, sire, I promise you that."

"Then why aren't you telling me?"

"Well, it's just that- What I mean to say is that-" Merlin broke off looking a bit nervous.

"Yes...?" Arthur prompts.

"It's just not that important, you see. The important question, I think, is: what are you going to do with me now?" Merlin asks with fear obvious in his voice. Did Merlin truly think Arthur capable of doing that?

"Well I can't turn you in for obvious reasons," Arthur says.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, a half decent servant is hard to come by," Arthur says jokingly. But more seriously he adds, "Especially one who means a lot to me." Arthur hears Merlin's breath hitch, this time not from hurt.

"Arthur..." Merlin breathes out, realizing what he was actually saying.

"I mean it, Merlin. I couldn't bare to lose you."

"So what do we do?"

"Well, you keep your magic hidden, especially from my father, until I become king. I will make it so you don't have to hide anymore," Arthur says. "I promise."

Merlin walks over to Arthur and wraps his arms around him. "Thank you, Arthur. Thank you so much," Merlin says into his neck. Arthur wraps his arms, too, around Merlin. He knows that this will be hard but he knows that whatever the outcome may be, it would be infinitely better than turning Merlin in now. "By the way," Merlin says, "I couldn't bare to lose you, either." Arthur just smiles in reply.


End file.
